Love

ok...after a hell of a lot of pondering

(thanks to Morpheus....you know who you are)

I can do nothing but arrive at my
original thoughts about this damn subject...
feeling...what ever you wish to call it.

I don't want it.

All I see it do to people is cause them pain,
and stressm and confusion;
and that's all it's done to me,
because I was stupid enough to let myself
go there once....
and all that did was confirm my thoughts.
So I decided to have nothing to do with
that stupid crap and avoid it completely.

These had been my firm and rock hard
beliefs on the subject for over five years...
and I was blissful in the matrix...
that allowed me to believe that none of it
existed for me....

Now chaos has erupted in my brain because
Morpheus came along and unplugged me...
and it screwed up my system...
beause now...
there's a part in my brain that wants all that
stuff now...
and there's another part that says what I know
to be true.
In the end it's going to hurt...

*sigh*

What a fucking confusing emotion...
what I don't understand is...
if anyone else asks me advice on the subject...
I can give good advice, that really does help people,
but if it involves me....
I'm lost and confused...it doesn't make sense...

my brain hurts now...

*smoke screen*